Souls Inside Out
learning to finally let go; to let the past lie, but now I have
become obsessed with building a better future. I hope to sometime
soon learn to live in the right now. I’ll start on that
Entry: Black Glob Monsters
"And I Quote"
is my art medium of choice. It’s not what I’m best
suited for, but it’s what I enjoy the most. Aside from
music, it’s the form of art that moves me the most, gets
me in the space between my ribs and my organs and stabs its
symbolic knife right into my heart...
I wonder what happens to those
pieces of yourself you give to someone after they decide they
want nothing to do with you? How long does it take them to stop
having any sort of feeling for you when they see something in
their life that you gave them, made for them, or somehow are
connected to? If you gave someone a recipe, and they used it
often, would they stop now and then and remember when you were
friends and how they got the recipe in the first place? Would
they stop and think about how things all got connected, try
to think back to how they met you in the first place; remember
how everything blew up in your face? Would they be sad? Would
the food take on the sadness? Really, what happens to other
people when you are not there? Eventually we all disappear,
person by person, day by day. If after you died, if someone
were to go around collecting those pieces of you that you let
others take, could you be resurrected like Osiris?
"Survival Is My Victory"
All my insecurities, I had to
face them, but I did so with a two-faced smile. All my weaknesses,
I had to set up meetings with them too, only I showed up late
and went home early; nothing got accomplished. All my faults
and my fears and my ways of life had to be reconciled at closing,
but I forgot to bring my cashier’s check. My repressed
fantasies and my sensitive skin make for one complex combination
Short Story: "On A Bus (for Theresa)"
For Preparing to Live Car-free
Article: "And Then REALLY Living Car-free"
Article: "Rochester, MN & The Roch Top 5"
On turning 30
Entry: Mystery Gets Me Off
have to admit that I love the stereotypes, the work ethics,
the caveman persona. Opening pickle jars and hammering nails.
I love men’s neediness, their urgency, their unapologetic
lust and charming confusion. I love how it’s a mystery
to me quite how it feels for them, quite what it’s like.
And obviously it’s mystery that gets me off...
and Lemons Mix"
All those mix CDs, they won’t tell you about me. The zines
and the postcards, they just paint an incomplete picture. I
don’t even understand the thoughts in my own mind, and
why they make me react the way I do yet I’ve also given
up trying to find someone who is a better thought to action
interpreter than myself. I’d fish through my intestines
and find my sunken heart, wrap it in paper and send it your
way, if I could. If I could understand what is really going
(inspiration for issue #3)
"You first must be who you
really are, then, do what you need to do, in order
to have what you want."